Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dreams


For christmas, I recieved the book "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho from my brother Kent. Before opening it's pages, I had expected the book to be one of those fantasy adventure books that both Kent and I enjoy reading, such as the Wheel of Time series or Harry Potter. But as I opened its pages, the first thing that grabbed my attention was the introduction. The author talks about how we all have a personal legend in our lives to fulfill, and that we need courage to achieve our dream. But then he noted the obstacles that each of us face that we need to overcome such as the obstacle of the world telling us since we are children that we can't fulfill our dreams. Then there's the obstacle of having to potentially hurt those we love in order to fulfill it. Along with those comes the fear of defeat, and failure. The last obstacle is to have patience and faith. The author also shares his viewpoints on how to overcome them...by believing in yourself, realizing that those you love are truly rooting for you and your success, learning to go forward and overcome your fears, even if failure is looming in your face, and to trust in God.

I have always been a person with what I deemed to be "unrealistic expectations" for my life. A little along the lines of what every LDS girl has been taught to dream of since she was little...the white picket fence with a large spacious house in a beautiful neighborhood. Inside was the perfect happy family. A handsome, intelligent, romantic and spiritual husband who was an incredible father to my children, that enjoyed life and was always happy. Then I would have my little angels, obedient children who loved their parents and always did their homework, who were so talented and smart, and who all had big dreams for their own lives. We all would work together as a cohesive whole to create a family unit full of love, joy and compassion. As i've grown older, and served a mission and graduated college, I've started to ask myself, are these dreams possible? And I start to doubt my own fantasies. I know that it is possible to achieve our dreams if we are constantly working at it, but other factors have to be kept in mind:

1. Disney's idealistic world of happily ever after isn't necessarily reality. We can be happy, but happiness is something learned through experience, mistakes, and truly feeling sadness. After all, we have to know the bad to be able to understand the good. Pain for pleasure. Grief for joy. So of course, we can have that happily ever after, but it won't come as easily as it might have to sleeping beauty or snow white. This is something that I had to learn the hard way on my mission. I have to learn to be happy with what I have, and constantly strive to be a better person. A handsome prince may come into my life and sweep me off my feet, but a kiss won't fix all my problems. Happily ever after comes after a considerable amount of hard work, happiness, and sadness.

2. Humans are imperfect creatures, and we can't expect perfection from a being who is imperfect. What I mean by this, is we need to realize that sometimes people will disappoint us. Children are naughty, husbands make mistakes, and the wife sure isn't exempt from the imperfect list (though she may sure think she is sometimes). One thing that is in our control though, is our capability to love, teach, be patient, be kind, and most of all be forgiving to those around us. The savior is the ultimate example of this. In a world full of imperfect people who disappointed him, he came and saved us from our imperfections, with a perfect and forgiving love. So the sooner we learn to love with all of those necessary qualities, the sooner we'll discover the beauty in those around us, and the love and joy that was missing in our lives that we kept at bay through being overjudgmental, unforgiving, and disappointed.

So I guess in the end, my dreams aren't unrealistic, but they can come with a different view of the world. That perfect family can be the perfect one for me, with a husband full of quirks that I love, who is trying and I can see only love for. Children who are learning, making mistakes, but are the angels of my life and will always be there for me, as long as i'm there for them. The house doesn't matter honestly, as long as my family is comfortable and happy with food and shelter, all the riches in the world couldn't buy a situation more perfect than people who look at each other with love and respect, who are able to overcome, and choose to find joy in their lives.

I, like you, have dreams. Some of them may not be big and fancy, but no matter what a dream is, it is achievable. So go, make your dreams come true.

1 comment:

Maurine Lee said...

This is one of my favorite books. It is interesting that in analyzing its impact on members of a book club years ago, those who had not changed their lives much found a lot of potential for change. I had started in my divorce and rebuilding process and we found that I had already activated a lot of my dreams.